I hear it all the time.

“Darling, I don’t have the time for self care.”

… or the energy, or the money, or the know-how.

You name it.

I remember when I felt like the thought of self-care alone would be a chore because it had to LOOK a certain way.

When I used to think of self care, I thought about the glamorous insta-shots of gorgeous flower baths, 24k gold masks, and a yoga trip alone to Bali. I hadn’t realized that the most rewarding care of all is the work of Deep Self-Care and well, the not-so-glamorous self-care.

Fact: Doing DEEP inner self care work will give you the glow of a million facials (and hey, I love me some facials! I’m pro-glam, it’s what I do.)


What IS Deep Self Care? 

Deep Self-Care is when you begin to love, care for, and nurture from the depths of who you are first. This is the act of honoring who you truly are beneath this skin suit that you’ve been given. For some, it starts with discovering who you really are underneath it all to begin with… and that’s DEEP. This takes time, devotion, grit, patience with yourself, and lots of healing. It’s peeling away the layers of conditioning. It’s a process. Once you’ve made that discovery, you begin to approach self-care differently. You allow yourself to practice the kind of self-care that doesn’t necessarily need an instagram post. The intimate self care. The Not-So-Glamorous Self Care. Why?

Because if you don’t know the “Self” then how do you know who you’re caring for? 


So what are some of the ways you can practice De-Glamorized Self Care?

  1. Keep Your Boundaries In Check.

    You can honor the truth behind safety in vulnerability while also being able to sovereignly honor your boundaries. Boundaries are an extremely important piece to NSG Self-Care. It’s what allows you to say, “this doesn’t please my spirit and therefore I can’t agree to it.” When you set, and enforce, these boundaries with love… you give your spirit room to do what it needs to do in this wonderful vessel.

  2. Practice Social Media Self Care.

    This is so big for me. I’ve come to notice just how much power social media has over the lives, minds, and energetics of those involved in it and have decided to raise awareness to the fact that we need to use social media consciously in order to avoid it hijacking our energy. If you want to know what Social Media Self Care is download my free guide here. 

  3. Mind Your Mind.

    If you don’t run your mind, it will run you. Be mindful for the thoughts that are coming in and only allows those that are true and beautiful to germinate in the soil that is your mind. Thoughts become things. They become actions that become habits which then turn into character and action. We cannot control which thoughts enter the mind, we can only control which ones stay and grow. These are the ones that the body begins to listen to. These are the ones that manifest into reality. Be mindful of that. Fun tip? Create, or purchase, an intention bracelet. They don’t have to have an intention written on them (although I looove the ones that do). They can even be a round beaded crystal bracelet in something like Sunstone (which really promotes positive thinking and lifts depression) or Smoky Quartz which helps absorb negative energy and patterns. Charge it with a short affirmation or intention… and every time a thought crosses your mind that you want to release just pull on the bracelet lightly, say the affirmation and release it. Let it be quick and easy so that you can do it on the go. “Cancel, Clear, Delete” is one of my favorites.

  4. Remove Toxicity.

    I mean this in every single way you can think about. Toxins in your body. Toxins in your mind. Toxins in your energetic field. Toxins in your LIFE. Toxins around the people that you allow into your space. You want to detox in any way possible in order to make ROOM for the beautiful things that align with your “Sacred Self”. Those for the highest good. Those for the advancement of your soul. Sit with yourself, light a candle, set your intentions, and begin writing down everything that you intuitively feel has been toxic in your life. Then get to work on releasing these. You’ll be so glad that you did.

  5. Declutter Your Space.

    Clutter has actually been scientifically linked to anxiety. This is how much our surroundings can affect our minds and, in turn, our spirits. Don’t overwhelm yourself in the process of decluttering. Set apart a time block in your day, or an entire day, just to do this with joy. Light some lavender incense to release any stress or anxiety around the task along with some vanilla to ease you up and help you feel comfortable. Orange essential oils are amazing for energy and positivity. Start a play list of fun, inspiring, and upbeat music to get you going and simply have fun knowing that you’re honoring yourself (and even your spirit family).

  6. Revisit Your Priorities.

    Is there something, or a bunch of somethings, distracting you from what you know your priorities are at the moment? Revisiting your priorities on a frequent basis is important in assuring that you are aligned. When we feel torn and out of alignment, we step into the energy of “not enough”. Who wants that? lol. Life happens. Things shift. Such is life. So consider revisiting your priorities on a monthly, or even weekly basis, to keep yourself aligned with what your Sacred Self is assisting you with in this cycle of your life and, in more earthly endeavors, what you want to accomplish to yourself and your family at this moment.

  7. Check In With Your Emotions.

    Checking in with your emotions will literally change your life. Taking a moment to really ask yourself, “what am I really feeling right now?” The key is in the “really”. We’re constantly feeling something. We’re either stressed, overwhelmed, angry, happy, or something! When you take a step deeper and ask yourself what you’re REALLY feeling… then you get answers that open opportunities. You discover that you’re not just happy, you’re grateful that the universe delivered something you’ve wanted for years. You’re proud of yourself for accomplishing what you once thought you couldn’t. When you’re angry, you discover that you’re really hurt because you’re not feeling heard and instead feel shamed. These deeper emotions lead to resolutions because they are no longer reactive emotions. In the middle of an emotion always ask yourself, “what am I REALLY feeling”… place your hand over your heart… and listen to your answer.

  8. Check In With Your Body.

    Similar to checking with your emotions, you can check in with your body. I have struggled with fatigue for a very long time. When I check in with my body and I ask, “what do you really need?” (again, the key is “really”) I always get an answer that I didn’t think I needed. If I’m hungry I feel that I need food, so I eat and let that be that. However, if I know that I just ate… my body may tell me that it really wants to feel grounded. I also experience this with pain. The body is such an energetic machine, it is much more complex than we believe. So many things that manifest in our bodies actually originate in our emotional and spiritual being. Even if you aren’t feeling anything in your body, check in with it daily (during a shower is such a perfect time) and ask it what it needs. If it doesn’t need anything then send it infinite love. It could always use some of that. 🙂

  9. Love on Your Relationships.

    Relationships MATTER! In a world where self-care and self-love always translates to “taking care of number one”… the truth is that taking care of your relationships plays a huge role in taking care of “number one”. If you’re not nurturing your relationships then they become stagnant and, in turn, they end up feeling more like baggage than anything else. Real, real, talk? If you have no desire to nurture a relationship, consider why you have this relationship in your life “PERIODT”. This goes for all sorts of relationships; friendships, romantic relationships and even family. Really take a moment to audit your relationships and think, “how can I pour some love into this relationship?” and go from there.

  10. Practice Gratitude.

    Gratitude opens all the doors, fam! I mean it. Starting a practice of gratitude places you in the mindset to receive, manifest, and align. Create a gratitude journal and write all of the things you’re grateful for on a daily basis. Challenge yourself to acknowledge even the little things that you take for granted, such as that delicious cup of coffee that you had this morning. It’s great to discover all of the little things that we sometimes take for granted and apply some gratitude on it. What you track, grows. Track your blessings, grow your blessings.


Deep Self Care is devotion. It doesn’t have to be complicated. You can do these along with your regular routines. Check in with your body in the shower. Check in with your emotions in the car on your way to or from work. Declutter your space during your regular house cleaning time. Practice gratitude each night before going to sleep. Revisit your priorities when you’re sitting down planning your week. You don’t have to have an instagram perfect ritual bath in order to do these. Although I do recommend some high vibe beautiful practices, these should be the non-negotiable ones. That bath isn’t going to “fix it all”.

When you’re not so sure where to even begin with Deep Self Care, don’t be ashamed to get guidance and assistance along the way. Therapy isn’t a sign of weakness. Coaching isn’t a sign of weakness. Follow me on Instagram + Facebook for inspiring interaction or check out some of my current session offerings. You certainly don’t have to go at it alone.


xox, Darling